Tips For American Fans Traveling Abroad.

By Matt Carlson

When traveling to a foreign country, it is a good idea to read up on the culture and customs of the country you plan to visit before going. Knowing such information can make your trip more enjoyable and save you from socially awkward situations such as wearing your “I Heart Hosni!” t-shirt on the streets of Cairo or showing up to an important meeting in, say, Zurich without the customary suitcase full of cash and jewelry.

With the movement of a number of American players during the recent transfer window, many American supporters will start watching foreign teams that they have not followed previously. Some will even join message boards, forums and chat rooms for these clubs in an effort to obtain information. In light of this, I thought it would be a good idea to provide the following helpful hints for Americans who decide to participate in forums of clubs abroad:

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1. Ignore the WUMs. WUM is short for “Wind Up Merchant” and it denotes a person who posts comments solely to get a rise out of other people. For example, after a Man of the Match level performance, a WUM will post that the player is not “Premiership quality” and should be sold for a bag of track suits. WUMs are the evil cousin of the grammar police and the spell checking poster. These sad people get their jollies by seeing other people agitated. Ignore this person. Don’t be baited. Don't respond. When you happen upon a WUM, remember the advice of Mark Twain, a great American, who once said, “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

2. This should not come as a shock to you, but some soccer fans in other countries do not respect the USMNT, MLS, or the ability of American players. They may deride your knowledge and ridicule you if you use terms like “soccer”, “field” or “game.” I say get some thicker skin and speak how you speak. If you want to use a few local terms like “football”, “pitch” or “match”, that’s fine, but don’t go overboard with it like Madonna and take on an accent. Additionally, there is another group of people out there that just flat out hate America. This type of world view can result in unfair criticism of American players. In my experience, these people are in the minority, no matter how vocal they may be. Ignore these types, as well. Debating them on the merits of various forms of government or America’s impact on world culture has nothing to do with soccer and is a waste of time. No matter how persuasive you think you are, there will never be a Kumbaya moment between you and them. Move on.

3. Remember, you are a guest. The team you are looking in on is part of the fabric of life for their supporters, many of whom have followed the club since they were born. By virtue of this, these supporters and their club deserve your respect. A pet peeve of mine is the American fan who goes on a message board for the first time and posts ideas about what formation the team should play, which, not surprisingly, involves putting the American in the starting eleven. You don’t attend Thanksgiving dinner as a guest and then give unsolicited advice on how grandma could have cooked the turkey better. It’s disrespectful and shows a lack of class -- even if you are absolutely right. I am not saying you can never make such posts, I am just saying that you need time to develop some credibility and rapport before you can bring up touchy subjects like grandma’s poor cooking or their Aunt Millie’s lazy eye.

4. Have you ever been out with friends and all they talk about all night is their kids? Every single thing that happens all night long relates to their kids in some way. “I’ll have the rib eye, medium rare.” “Oh, you know who likes steak? My little Johnny!” Mama Mia, you just want to shoot yourself, right? Well, don’t make every post about the American player, either. Remember, you are on the team’s message board, not the home page of some player’s fan club. While we are on the subject, please be objective about the American player. You don't have to defend everything he does. He may occasionally make a mistake, miss a sitter, or have a poor game, which will make him the subject of legitimate criticism on the board. It does not make you any less patriotic to admit this.

5. Don’t make posts about other Americans playing for other teams. No Blackburn supporter wants to know how Jozy Altidore looked in Buraspor’s last match. It’s like telling your girlfriend how cute that girl across the room is. Your girlfriend doesn’t care and it will only make her mad. What’s the upside there for you?

6. Don’t register several screen names for yourself and then post multiple comments on a thread you have started just to support your own opinion. I know it is easy to forget because the conversations are taking place over the Internet, but if you do this, you are still, in fact, talking to yourself and that is what crazy people do. If you feel the urge to so this, back away from your computer, raise the shades in your room, and go outside for awhile. Breathing fresh air, seeing the sunshine and having personal interaction with actual human beings may do you a world of good.

7. Lastly, it is okay to disagree with someone, but stay civil and on topic. Some people just cannot live with the fact that not all seven billion people on this earth agree with them. These peoples’ feelings of inadequacy are so intense that in such situations they immediately resort to attacks on the other person’s lineage, I.Q., or sexual preferences. If you feel you must engage this type of person, remember the third rule of another great American, James Dalton, who said, “Be nice.” “C’mon”, you may scoff as you shrug your shoulders and raise your hands off your belly, thumbs pointed skyward. “I want you to be nice . . . until it’s time . . . to not be nice.” How will you know when that is, you may ask with a slightly puzzled and sedated look on your face. “You won’t. I’ll let you know. You are the bouncers, I am the cooler . . .” I’m sorry. I got carried away there. So, in summary, it’s okay for people to disagree with you and don’t make personal attacks. Also, Road House is awesome.

I hope these tips will be helpful to you should you decide to participate in a foreign club’s message board, forum or chat room. I think if you follow my tips, you’re going to have a good time, learn a few things, and meet some decent people along the way. Who knows, you may even find yourself staying on with the club long after the American player has left.